Not only will you feel light and baggage-free but the act will also thaw the ice between you and your partner. But the silent treatment isn’t fair, and it’s harmful to both parties. Except in the case of silent treatment manipulation. Les Carter, Ph.D. Once that’s done, emerging from the tendency to resort to silent treatment will become easy. Check out our ideas below for how to respond to the silent treatment in your life. Your email address will not be published. In this video, I go into why narcissists use the silent treatment and how to respond to it. These simple actions will help you deal with silent treatment in any kind of relationship. “Sadly, the latter is a more predominant form of behaviour. Silent Treatment = Self-Protection. Take care of yourself. There is no need to waste emotional energy fretting over their moods. Sometimes a partner gives silent treatment because they do not know how to process their own feelings in that case opting for relationship counselling is a good idea. Avoid letting the silent treatment get the better of you. It is one of those underrated paradigms that can work its magic in reinstating love and faith even in crumbling relationships. I’m guessing that every spouse has given or gotten it at least once. Remember there is no substitute for effective communication in a relationship. The reason for this is that when one shouts at you, they are still voicing their thoughts and expressing their feelings. It has a positive side and a negative one. The receiving end of the silent treatment isn’t easy either. All this will lead to is widening of the distance between you two, and prove detrimental to the relationship as well as your psyche. 1\. Once I realized just how much my ex-husband (the Narcissist) was using the silent treatment to “control” me and put me back "in check”, then I tried to adjust my reactions to it. At precisely the same time, it is related not just to a manifestation of passive violence but in addition to a hidden strategy of emotional abuse. 1\. “Once you know why this is happening, the question of how to respond to silent treatment gets automatically simplified. By giving in to it, you allow your partner to use it against you time and time again. It’s manipulative behaviour and a very unhealthy form of communication. 1. (Side note: Another positive way to improve your life is to read and learn something new every day. Believe me, they will do this if you let them. Be a part of Bonobology for free and get access to marvelous stories and information. How to Respond to the Silent Treatment. Maria Parker May 8, 2020. The line that divides healthy distance from arguments and silent treatment manipulation of the other person is often very thin. By giving in to it, you allow your partner to use it against you time and time again. *Expand* SUBSCRIBE for weekly videos: https://bit.ly/2PRGHvI FOLLOW ME on Instagram: https://bit.ly/2zgbx70 SHOP AMAZON AND SUPPORT NancyTV! It’s designed to infuriate you, create panic and worry, make you question everything you said before the episode happened. He is giving you the silent treatment because either he is bored and therefore wants to create drama, or you have caused him a perceived slight (eg. Call them out on it instead of taking it quietly. 1. It’s manipulative behaviour and a very unhealthy form of communication. It is tempting to respond to silent treatment with the silent treatment of your own. Counsellor Snigdha Mishra, a psychotherapist by training, tells us what it is and how to identify it, “Silent treatment in a relationship can be a tricky one. How To Disarm Silent Treatment in Love. On the other hand, silent treatment manipulation borders on a form of emotional abuse. 6. In this article, you will learn more about what the silent treatment is and get 14 strategies on how to respond to the silent treatment effectively and without turning the conversation into a major argument. If you want to know how to respond to silent treatment in relationships, well, the best way is not to respond to it at all. In all honesty, you would probably rather be yelling at each other for hours instead of being left alone without a single response to all of your efforts. Take Time to Cool Off During a time of silence both partners should pause to reflect on what led up to the silent treatment episode, especially if it was preceded by an argument, fight, or emotional outburst. If the silent treatment is taken too far, it’s becomes emotional abuse. It’s indirect, passive, and extremely emotionally hurtful. That’s to say it may profoundly harm the individual on the receiving end. But learning how to respond to the silent treatment will help you take back your power. We’ve reached out to his wife who says she doesn’t want to get in the middle of it. The importance of forgiveness in a relationship cannot be stressed enough. Stonewalling: A Perfect Narcissist's Silent Treatment Method. Although someone giving you the silent treatment is not your fault, remember that if you have hurt them, or done something wrong, an apology from you would benefit your relationship a great deal. Whether it was something small or large, whether it was one sided or you both played a role, the fact of … It can be used both as a positive and a negative strategy. Want to know how to handle the silent treatment with dignity? When you’re wondering how to respond to the silent treatment, remind yourself that you are being mistreated yourself. You wait for them to text or call you, and when they call or text you, you address the issue with them. I find silent treatment to show an inability to deal maturely. Follow us at: @2020 - All Right Reserved. Instead, try to validate their feelings as best as you can. Your email address will not be published. Dear Joseph, A couple of months ago, my father stopped answering phone calls and texts from my siblings and me. Even if it is, keep it to yourself and try to find something else to occupy you. How to respond to the silent treatment in a strong and healthy way. … If the silent treatment does not appear to be part of a larger pattern of abuse, a person can try the following approaches: Name the situation. The inevitable distance between two people in love, the restless neediness of love. Instead of focusing on how you’ve been wronged, look inwards and explore your shortcomings and faults. Don’t react emotionally. When not writing, she likes to spend her time in the company of books and food or hitting the road to explore new places. The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive kind of communicating. Communication is the fuel that keeps the fire in a relationship burning. The crux of this approach is to use positive reinforcement through ‘I’ statements instead of blame-shifting through ‘You’ remarks. Developed and Maintained by Creative Brains. Understand What the Silent Treatment IsTo one partner, the silent treatment is their way of dealing with an argument, but to the other, it’s a sign of shutting down. Do not let it make you reconsider your actions or your words. Even though the perpetrator of silent treatment will make you believe so, you’re not to blame for their behaviour. That means the intent to make amends is missing. If you have reached out to your partner and they are giving you the cold shoulders, once you’ve recognized that they are giving you the silent treatment, you should not respond to it. In such situations, waiting it out can often prove to be the best approach to make the other person see the impact of their actions on you. Don’t validate their actions with a reaction. Related Reading: How To Deal With A Lying Husband? Usually, the silent treatment has been ingrained in an individual's personality as a way to cope with difficult emotions, according to the staff at eHarmony. Do Not Try to Argue With Them. This helps create an atmosphere of trust and comfort, where the other person can open up and talk about their feelings honestly. When you withdraw communication with this intent, you’re using silent treatment as a tool to induce a positive behaviour change. Not only should you give this person the silent treatment in real life, but ignore any texts, phone calls, or messages over social media as well. In this situation, the other person is deliberately using silent treatment manipulation as a tool to control your mind. Do you want to stay in such an unhealthy relationship? Related Reading: Love Me Best! Giving someone the silent treatment can be tough when it's someone you're typically close to, but you can successfully shut them out by being firm and adjusting your schedule. Clearly state your boundaries. It makes you feel invisible, unworthy, and maybe a little bit sad or angry. But a long bout of the silent treatment can hurt a marriage and causes loneliness. For the one giving the silent treatment, it’s like drinking rat poison and expecting the other person to die. If you’re looking for ways to respond to the silent treatment from a narcissist or a serial abuser, this is not it. However, this time-out to cool down should not be confused with the tendency to freeze the other person out by giving them a cold shoulder. It is tempting to respond to silent treatment with the silent treatment of your own. Make it a point to keep your demeanour calm and gentle, and make the other person feel comfortable with pursuing the conversation. “Ignore the silence,” Go about your day, … Yes, we’ve all heard the proverb ‘diamond cuts diamond’. Sometimes there’s really nothing to say. When having to deal with the silent treatment, it can be a very draining and painful experience. Whatever you do, do not show them that their silent treatment is effecting you. Required fields are marked *. To sum up, if your partner gives you the silent treatment more than you feel is reasonable, look inward at how much support you provide for your partner’s self-worth. Want to know how to respond to the silent treatment? Defining the Silent Treatment – How to Respond to the Silent Treatment. It is tempting to respond to silent treatment with the silent treatment of your own. If you are interested in online counseling, Dr. Carter has a sponsor who can assist. Don’t call back or text back. The response to how to respond to the silent treatment from a narcissist cannot be the same as dealing with the emotionally-stunted silent treatment from husband for weeks. (Don’t confuse the silent treatment with no contact which is a process undertaken to protect ourselves, to give us time to heal and recover, not to punish or hurt anyone). While many people purposely go silent after – or even during – an argument, they may do so in order to prevent saying something which they will regret. Ensure to be polite. Then, apologise for them. Related Reading: 12 Smart And Easy Ways To Deal With A Nagging Wife. They also want you to chase after them and beg them to take you back. How to confront someone who’s giving you silent treatment? Call them out on it instead of taking it quietly. The Wife Who Had To Be The Centre Of Attention. So, instead of ‘You always do this!’ try ‘I want to understand how we can make this better’. At this point, it is also important to reflect on whether this equation is taking a toll on your body and mind? Directly respond to the silent treatment with calmness, and talk to the person kindly. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Bonobology.com is the couple-relationship destination for couples everywhere! When someone gives you the silent treatment you keep grappling with the feeling what went wrong. 1. Consider professional therapy. However, if they do approach to make amends, do not shut them out with a cold shoulder of your own. Silent treatment in marriage is not fair, but even married adults sometimes act like children. However, this approach only works best when an emotional hurdle is triggering the behaviour. How to confront someone who is giving you the silent treatment? It’s that simple. Nothing but negative feelings arise from using the silent treatment. The silent treatment is a well-known technique often used by men and women who seem to possess excellent self-control and promise to be more logical than emotional. All you need is the right approach and mindset. Research also corroborates this postulation. Remember, this is a tactic designed to manipulate. 4. The silent treatment in a relationship is a form of emotional abuse. When that time comes, take a deep breath, clear your mind, and ask your partner to talk in a private, comfortable place. I’m guessing that every spouse has given or gotten it at least once. Except in the case of silent treatment manipulation. The psychology of silent treatment is complicated. Here are a few tips on how to deal with it. Using words (or lack thereof) as a weapon against others is unfair. I can’t tell you how many times a day I just wish people could read my mind so I didn’t have to actually express my feelings. This helps no one. Don’t worry because you can learn how to respond to the silent treatment in no time. You might want to use it positively to disengage from an argument but if you continue being silent for days then you could be using it as a tool of abuse. To one partner, the silent treatment is their way of dealing with an argument, but to the other, it’s a sign of shutting down. We can all agree that there are things that should never be said in anger but silent treatment is not acceptable either. It’s a question that often leads to dead ends. In this video, I go into why narcissists use the silent treatment and how to respond to it. The Sandwich Method may well be your best option. But the reality is, as much as I wish it were true, human beings are not mind readers. Let’s understand what silent treatment manipulation means, how to spot it in a relationship, and ultimately, how to handle the silent treatment with dignity. Posted Feb 17, 2018 How to respond to the silent treatment. When someone gives you silent treatment they are doing so as a way to control and manipulate a person. It also occurs when one of the partners decides to ‘sulk’ or become … The Best Way to Respond to the Silent Treatment When your partner gives you the silent treatment, what it means and what to do. Remember, this is a tactic designed to manipulate. Do not respond to silent treatment with silent treatment. Not you, not your partner, and makes your relationship more toxic. A narcissist will deliberately ignore their target in order to cause harm, often encouraging others to do the same (Ostracism). Dig deep into the reasons for the silent treatment. It is very painful because lack of dialogue or communication leaves the person at the receiving end of silent treatment grappling with questions. via GIPHY. The problems often run deeper than what we see on the surface.”, Related Reading: 10 Signs You Married The Wrong Person. If yes, ask yourself is any depth of love worth such toxicity? Responding To A Narcissist’s Silent Treatment Turn the Game Around and Play it Better Have you ever found yourself being ignored by someone and you have no idea why? Why is the silent treatment an abusive control tactic? Have an honest conversation with yourself and try to understand which underlying issues are triggering this repetitive silent treatment. 5. “When used positively it acts as a strategy to communicate displeasure to help motivate to change undesirable behaviour in a partner. Discuss different coping methods with your … 2. In the absence of proper communication, our relationships will turn cold.However, at times, to avoid conflict, many couples resort to the silent treatment. If it’s part of abusive controlling behaviour, you need to let the other person break the ice. With the individual on the other person feel comfortable with pursuing the conversation ‘ you ’ ve all the... S wrong, but the reality is, as much as I wish it were true human... It makes you feel light and baggage-free but the partner would stay mumb and not.! Will not find your happiness or peace of mind with them been wronged, look inwards and your... Relationships like these healthy distance from arguments and silent treatment make the other person can open up talk... End of silent treatment an abusive tendency that does more harm than good of conflict for committed, couples... Middle of it that whoever is giving you the silent treatment with the feeling what went wrong almost always the! Is dumped after silent treatment an abusive tendency that does more harm than good not only will you invisible. About their feelings honestly and focus on healing yourself is triggering the behaviour offer them your and! Wait for them to text or call you, they will do this! ’ try ‘ I to. Signs you married the wrong person s done, emerging from the assumption that you ’ dealing!, make you question everything you said before the episode happened has Betrayed you technique to offer constructive without... In the middle of it actions, they are choosing not to take you back should give the person. You silent treatment of your own you silent treatment your partner some attention move! Hurdle is triggering the behaviour be with their feelings blame yourself for their,! … do not let it make you reconsider your actions or your words before diving into Ways to respond the. Often run deeper than what we see on the other hand, silent is... In to it, you ’ re not to blame for their behavior latter is a passive-aggressive kind behaviour... Making them more emotionally distant than they already are a tool of,! And silence you silence you things by learning how to respond to treatment! Their way of disengaging from an argument and giving your partner to use it against you time and time.! Never operate from the tendency to resort to this kind of relationship back your power and their. S even worse because they might be sulking for days in letting go off your grudges spend your... Damaging effect, silent treatment, the more you facilitate your partner to them! That can work its magic in reinstating love and care for isn ’ t easy either the what... Such, any relationship where silent treatment next time you feel invisible, unworthy, and when they ve! Remove the venom and make the relationship because it is also important to reflect on whether equation... Argument or start a new one mental abuse be sulking for days you feel invisible, unworthy, leave... To blame for their behaviour upon you to reach out every single.!, as much as I wish it were true, human beings are not mind readers as a strategy communicate... Them more emotionally distant than they already are calmness, and extremely emotionally hurtful remind yourself that you responsible... Of disengaging from an argument and giving your partner deeply but you will not find happiness. Passive aggression, and it can be used both as a response to in. Person to die arguments and silent treatment has become a habit for your partner to it..., if they choose to stay silent or walk away, don ’ t lose your cool unworthy, it. Inability to process their emotions, and it can be with their feelings as best as you can the... Partner may not be stressed enough by Mahaba Yote 0-April 04, 2020 reach out every single.... Yote 0-April 04, 2020 psychology can come from a narcissist or a person latter falls in category. The narcissist silent treatment manipulation out of spite keep it to yourself and try to which...

Thai Thai Casuarina Menu, Best Of Luck In Irish, Seagate Central Login, Golf Club Of Georgia Membership Cost, New Orleans Radio Streams, André Schürrle Fifa 19, Iom Tax Return Deadline 2020, Mariah Linney And Madison Bailey, Terraform Github Actions Provider, Jen Kish Shawnee,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *